When You Have a Constant Fear of Something Bad Happening
*Based on my Lived Experience Learnings*
One of the feeding tubes to our anxiety is the constant fear of something bad happening.
This tube steals so much from us.
- It steals time.
- It steals energy.
- It steals our ability to be in the present moment.
- It steals our adventure & risk-taking side of ourselves that we so desperately want back.
- It steals our opportunity to deeply connect to others, and to the world.
- It steals our relationships & friendships.
- It steals our opportunity to ‘go with the flow’.
- It steals our opportunity to fail, make mistakes and learn!
- It steals our ability to LIVE!!!
AND it not only steals our lives, it steals our kids’ lives because of our over-protective mechanisms when we’re in fear mode.
“why do I always fear the worst?”
“why do I always think the worst is going to happen?”
“why can’t I just go with the flow”
“why can’t I just trust that it will be ok?”
And in this, lie’s the big banga word that we need to focus on, in order to get out of this headspace.
In order to break that fucking tube from feeding our anxiety.
The word/action we need to focus on is TRUST!!!
Anxiety Had Me Always Thinking of the Worst-Case Scenario
My anxiety controlled my mind and life for over 20 years from the age of I’d say about 4yrs old to 32!
The worst case scenarios were the constant theme throughout my days.
From worrying that someone was going to stab me while I was riding my bike along the street, to fearing my dad was in a car accident, to everyone in my family dying or getting sick, to losing my job, to my Christmas dish not working out and everyone thinking I was useless.
I would fear the worst case scenario in my relationship – he’s cheating on me, he’s lying to me, he’s just pretending to like me.
I would live in constant fear of becoming a vegetable in a car accident, driving off a cliff, a truck driving head on into me just to name a few..
What was even worse, was that my worse case scenarios were often catastrophized from a “silly” thing like; If I organised a dinner party and everyone got food poisoning and then they would end up in hospital and die!!!
Like what the actual fuck LOU!!!!!!
Why Do I Always Think the Worst Is Going to Happen?
So, since coming out the other side of anxiety, I’ve dedicated a shitload of my time to going back into my 20+ years of anxiety struggle town and unpacking the fuck out of it, so I can share with you, my lived-experience observations, perspectives and truths that I wish I had when I was in the thick of it.
In hope that this will support you to unpack your own anxiety, and start living a life without fearing the worst, a life without anxiety controlling you.
If you need more support, I really deep dive into worst case scenario anxiety and how you can help yourself through in my fourth-month intimate group Mastermind. You can read more about it here.
So here’s my breakdown and synopsis of; ‘why do I always fear the worst?’
I feared the worst because:
- I had no trust in myself
- I had no trust in my skills/abilities to be a ‘GOOD’ fucking human
- I had no trust in the outside world
- I had no trust in the ones around me (not intentionally of course)
- I didn’t have a true mentor or go-to person to share my fear’s with…because of…well.. ANXIETY!
- I didn’t have the confidence in myself to believe
- I lacked knowledge of HOW to trust myself
- I focussed on the flaws rather than taking time to hold space for the things that actually WENT RIGHT!
Ways Your Anxiety Makes You Think the Worst?
Anxiety is just such a sneaky bitch really.
It gathers together all its mates (Ms Perfectionism, Ms Comparisonitis, Ms Over-analyser, Ms Catastrophizer, Ms People Pleaser, Ms Imposter Syndrome, Ms Self-sabotage) and they formulate these worst case scenarios by taking all your ‘bad/traumatic’ experiences or ones you’ve been exposed to, and then pumps it into your mind on over-drive… and then BOOM… here you are in a bloody panic attack over going to the shops!!!
So what do we need to do Lou?
What do we need to do to STOP our anxiety having these little gatherings with its mates and fucking up our lives?
Why You Need to Stop Your Anxiety from Taking You to the Worst-Case Scenario?
In order to STOP this cycle, you need to:
- Carve time to bring forward all the good shit that has happened in your life
- Write an evidence list. Think about all the hard shit you’ve gone through. The small stuff
- Educate yourself on yourself, DEEPLY educate, not the surface level shit – get DEEP!(need help to go deep – grab a free anxiety coaching call with me here)
- Use awareness as your number 1 tool for changing your mind-habits
- Catch yourself in the spiral, bring forward your evidence list to remind yourself how bloody amazing you are and what you’ve gotten through
- Break that bloody shit-show party up in your mind, by flooding it with what can go RIGHT. Not wrong
These are just some starting steps for you. I don’t want to overwhelm you. These starting steps are about bringing back confidence in yourself, and with this confidence comes TRUST!
Believing in yourself.
Education on yourself = Confidence & Trust (belief).
You need to start somewhere, and if I’m reading the play right, and your reading this because it resonates, I’m taking a guess that you’re completely fucking over fearing all the bloody things and you’re ready to start TAKING ACTION!!!
These will be the best steps to that action taking vibe and help you to start breaking that shit-show party going on in your mind.
How to Stop Thinking the Worst?
I’m afraid if you’re looking for a quick fix, or a magic pill, or a special one-size-fits-all process to stopping the ‘constant fear of something bad happening’, there isn’t such a thing.
Trust me, I was searching for a bloody long time, and I tried ALL THE THINGS. The truth bomb that I painstakingly discovered was that, I had to DO THE WORK!
But I promise you, it is ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY worth it. Doing ‘The Work’ has been the most life-changing thing I have done, and still continue to do.
To STOP thinking the worst. To STOP having constant fear of something bad happening. You need to break that anxiety-party up by doing the deep work and bringing forward all the incredible, amazing, hard-lesson stuff that I know you have experienced in your life.
Start educating yourself on yourself.
Learn WHO the fuck you are, so you can tackle the thoughts with confidence and bash them down with your evidence list.
Train your brain to LIVE! You’re the only one who can do it.