About Lou Fitz
experienced anxiety sufferer
For the last 20+ years I have been living with anxiety and hiding it pretty well in the closet. Until recently that is. Unknowingly, I have been a people pleaser, a perfectionist, a professional to-do list writer (meaning I procrastinate like a BOSS!!), and although I may come across quite confident, on the inside – well, its a different story. I have felt so lost, alone, frustrated, confused, and constantly second guessing and comparing myself.
I have spent countless hours, dollars and energy understanding my anxiety triggers, and trying every management “strategy” under the sun, only to be disappointed at the short term fix, when the anxiety just keeps coming back no matter what I do.
I would second, third and fourth guess myself with every decision. I would worry about the smallest things, NON-STOP worrying. I would distract myself with bulk activities, and write 100’s of to-do lists, but ultimately end up being so bloody unproductive. I would procrastinate at every chance I could. It started to niggle away at my relationships. I felt like it was a complete chore to be a mum and a wife, and I found it so hard to “pretend” I was enjoying it. I couldn’t sleep (not that there was much of that going on anyway), I couldn’t eat properly, I would become resentful, angry, irritated, frustrated, emotional, sad – my mood swings were next level!
The ‘everyday’ little things
became so ridiculously overwhelming
I got to breaking point!
I knew that after trying every fricken coping/managing strategy under then sun, the only way I could REALLY get to the bottom of this bastard thing called ‘Anxiety’, was to dig deep,
get real, get raw, and get completely honest with myself.
And the hardest thing to swallow was, the only person that could dig the deepest and find the “real me” – would have to be me…now that shit is scary!
All I have ever wanted was to be confident from the INSIDE out. I just wanted to be IN-control of my thoughts, of my decisions. I wanted to just enjoy the journey and stop worrying about all the bloody ‘WHAT-IF’ scenarios. I wanted to have fun, to be a great role model for my kids. To get on with my life, and live it to the fullest. To be comfortable with my true self. I wanted to not give a flying fuck about what other people thought, and just OWN my shit, the good, the bad, the crazy, and let people love me for who I was.
Well, pop the bloody champagne fellow anxiety friends…