About Lou Fitz
experienced anxiety sufferer
For the last 20+ years I have been living with anxiety and hiding it pretty well in the closet. Until recently that is. Unknowingly, I have been a people pleaser, a perfectionist, a professional to-do list writer (meaning I procrastinate like a BOSS!!), and although I may come across quite confident, on the inside – well, its a different story. I have felt so lost, alone, frustrated, confused, and constantly second guessing and comparing myself.
I have spent countless hours, dollars and energy understanding my anxiety triggers, and trying every management “strategy” under the sun, only to be disappointed at the short term fix, when the anxiety just keeps coming back no matter what I do.
I would second, third and fourth guess myself with every decision. I would worry about the smallest things, NON-STOP worrying. I would distract myself with bulk activities, and write 100’s of to-do lists, but ultimately end up being so bloody unproductive. I would procrastinate at every chance I could. It started to niggle away at my relationships. I felt like it was a complete chore to be a mum and a wife, and I found it so hard to “pretend” I was enjoying it. I couldn’t sleep (not that there was much of that going on anyway), I couldn’t eat properly, I would become resentful, angry, irritated, frustrated, emotional, sad – my mood swings were next level!
The ‘everyday’ little things
became so ridiculously overwhelming
I got to breaking point!
I knew that after trying every fricken coping/managing strategy under then sun, the only way I could REALLY get to the bottom of this bastard thing called ‘Anxiety’, was to dig deep,
get real, get raw, and get completely honest with myself.
And the hardest thing to swallow was, the only person that could dig the deepest and find the “real me” – would have to be me…now that shit is scary!
All I have ever wanted was to be confident from the INSIDE out. I just wanted to be IN-control of my thoughts, of my decisions. I wanted to just enjoy the journey and stop worrying about all the bloody ‘WHAT-IF’ scenarios. I wanted to have fun, to be a great role model for my kids. To get on with my life, and live it to the fullest. To be comfortable with my true self. I wanted to not give a flying fuck about what other people thought, and just OWN my shit, the good, the bad, the crazy, and let people love me for who I was.
Well, pop the bloody champagne fellow anxiety friends…
Unknowingly, I ended up taking myself on a self-discovery, hard-truth finding type journey. I couldn’t believe it, but I found the bloody root cause to my anxiety. I found the core of where all the pain I had been suffering, for the last 20+ years, had stemmed from.
I can’t even explain how much this has changed my life…
So here I am.
On the most exciting mission ever, to inspire other anxiety sufferers to break down their barriers, rip off the bandaids, and get accountable with finding their true selves.
Sharing my journey and building a non-judgemental, RELATABLE, encouraging community, where we can be real, raw and open about our anxiety. Use our anxiety to Grow. Use it as an enabler not a disabler.
Anxiety sufferers helping fellow anxiety sufferers
Check out my “WHY” for starting the group
Join the community on the link below and start making a difference today!!!
If your about to embark on the first-time mum journey, or, you are a first-time mum, or you have been in the mum game for a while now, this post will either scare you, resonate with you, or entertain you. Within this post I share some of the real and raw stuff that went on in my head. The shit that people don’t usually tell you when you’re about to become a first-time mum.
Depression forced me to learn more about myself. It forced me to OWN my shit. Own who I am. But more importantly, it enabled me to make a choice on what I wanted to change and what I didn’t want to change.
I share with you an entertaining, and maybe relatable, comparison between what I think the mum/dad stigma is, and my personal reality. Well, the shit that goes on in my head. Now this isn’t about being right or wrong, and I’m not being a negative Nelly. It is just the real, raw, honest truth that is swirling around in my VERY active, sleep deprived, exhausted, milking station mind.
Do you ever feel like you are constantly searching for more? But you don’t know why? Why you cant just be content? That you can’t find a balance? What the f*ck is balance anyway? I have just been really lost and I just can’t seem to find anything that satisfy’s me… What is wrong with me??? I am bloody determined to find out this bloody block!!! Watch out… this crazy, overthinking, chick (that’s me) is going to crush this god damn anxiety and kick down the block with force!!!!
I was resenting the things that he was able to do around me, that I wasnt able to do. And its not his fault. Its no-ones fault. Its just apart of the process. I don’t think I would call it jealousy. Or maybe it was.